Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
