i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
