Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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