i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
