please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
