I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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