He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
