nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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