I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
