Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
