I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
