remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
