She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
