I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
