Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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