yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
