ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
