Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Blood and glitter go together right?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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