kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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