so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's just like the Real World with babies
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
