Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize