my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
