I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
