Do you still have your period?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
