tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We are all done wearing pants today
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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