gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
