I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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