I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
