Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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