I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
