I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
