my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
