why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize