They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
