Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I cut my penus on the lid.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
