Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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