Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
