HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
