North Korea, Best Korea!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
