I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
