This girl is more easily done than said...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
