Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
