The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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