We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
