Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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