I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
