I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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