I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
