I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
