I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
