I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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