Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
