Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
