Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
