I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
