okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
