none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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